Tag Archives: marriage

In your singlehood phase

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Genesis 2:18 “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.”
The word alone in this verse does not mean lonely. If you go to verse 20, it says, “For Adam there was not found a help meet for him.” Adam was not lonely; he was alone in terms of companionship. There was no one like him.
Being alone is a very important phase of life, not only before marriage but in every season of growth. Spiritually, there are moments when God calls you to be alone with Him. Even when you are married, there are times when God separates you for personal dealings.
In such moments, God works on you in ways He cannot when you are surrounded by others.
Do not rush through this alone phase without receiving everything God intends for you. It is a season for development, discovery, and divine molding.
Why Many Marriages Fail?
Today, we have a high rate of divorce because people are not receiving what they are supposed to receive during their alone time. Many skip what they were meant to learn during their single phase. We are producing half-baked married couples. Of course, there is no fixed timeframe for marriage; it’s not about years, it’s about maturity. Until you are mature, you are not ready. You must know why you are single and what you must develop in yourself before you can unite with someone else.

Two Key Aspects of Maturity in the Singlehood Phase

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1. Know Yourself
Your single phase is the best time to truly discover who you are. When you know yourself well, you will attract people who reflect your nature and purpose. Self-knowledge brings discernment, you can easily tell, “This is not for me.”
Many sisters think they are attractive because everyone approaches them, even those who don’t know God. But the truth is, when you don’t know yourself, you attract anything.
When you are alone, you develop faster. Growth in a group can bring unhealthy comparisons and imitation. You start dressing like others, behaving like others, and lose your originality. There are moments when God wants to develop you as you, where you can be honest about your weaknesses and open to His transformation. Enjoy this season. Be alone with God.
2. Develop the Capacity to Accommodate Another Person
You do not jump into a relationship before there is a place within you for another human being. You must come to a point of maturity where you have created space for that person, so that when that person walks into your life, they will easily fit in without any struggle.
People fight in relationships because they rushed. They thought love was just walking together, holding hands, or eating at KFC. But true partnership requires inner capacity, space built through maturity. You don’t start dating hoping to “grow together.” Grow yourself first.
What develops a person to the point where he or she can open up to accommodate another person? It is maturity. When you reach that point, that’s when you are ready to date. You don’t start dating before that space is created.
Hebrews 11:23–26 “When he came to years, he refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter.”
The phrase “when he came to years” speaks of maturity, not age. Moses grew up in Pharaoh’s house. But the Bible says, “When he came to years,” not “when he turned a certain age.” The rendering of that phrase refers to maturity. When Moses matured, he discovered his true identity, he realized he was not an Egyptian but a Hebrew. He refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter.
There is a level of maturity that brings you into the full knowledge of your identity. You begin to know who you truly are. You can see through Moses’s choices that this man had matured, he now understood the values of life and what truly mattered. When you are not mature, you behave carelessly. People have to keep checking up on you. Many of the mistakes you make in relationships come from immaturity. If you are mature, you know when to be together and when not to be together. The single phase is a divine opportunity from God to grow and mature.